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How To Mock Twilight?

CUSTOMER: Do you have a copy of Bella Swan’s favourite book? You know, from Twilight?

(Bookseller sighs and pulls a copy of Wuthering Heights off the shelf)

CUSTOMER: Do you have the one with the cover that looks like Twilight?

BOOKSELLER: No. This is an antiquarian bookshop, so this is an old edition of the book.

CUSTOMER: But it’s still the one with that girl Cathy and the dangerous guy, right?

BOOKSELLER: Yes, it’s still the story by Emily Bronte.

CUSTOMER: Right. Do you think they’ll make it into a film?

BOOKSELLER: They’ve made several films of it. The one where Ralph Fiennes plays  Heathcliff is very good.

CUSTOMER: What? Voldemort plays Heathcliff?

BOOKSELLER: Well . . .

CUSTOMER: But that’s Edward’s role.

BOOKSELLER: Wuthering Heights was written well before both Harry Potter and Twilight.

CUSTOMER: Yeah, but Voldemort killed Cedric, who’s played by Robert Pattinson, and now Voldemort’s playing Edward’s role in Wuthering Heights, because Edward’s character is Heathcliff. I think that Emily Bronte’s trying to say something about vampires.

BOOKSELLER: . . . that’s £8.

CUSTOMER: For what?

BOOKSELLER: For the book.

CUSTOMER: Oh, no, it’s OK, I’m going to go and try and find the Voldemort DVD version.

 

 

Source: WEIRD THINGS CUSTOMERS SAY IN BOOKSHOPS  by Jen Campbell

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7 thoughts on “How To Mock Twilight?”

  1. Hilarious! I bashed Twilight in Twilight merchandise when I realized how bad the books were after reading another vampire series that turned out to be better. Say, did Ralph Fiennes really play Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights and is the movie actually good? WH isn’t my favorite Bronte work but I still think it is very well written and was considering watching a movie version of it someday.

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    1. Yes, Ralph did play Heathcliff in a 1992 movie! 🙂
      Which other vampire series have you read??
      If you want to watch a movie on Wuthering Heights, watch, 2009 BBC Drama in which Tom Hardy is Starred as Heathcliff!
      I agree, WH is very well written, and it is in my top 10 books list!

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      1. The only other vampire series I read is the Vampire Academy series by Richelle Mead. It is way better than Twilight b/c the main character is kick-ass and cares about something other than a crush. I’m so tired of vampires now though. However, I do want to read Dracula during October if not sooner.

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      2. Read Dracula.. I read it two years back and it is still there in back of my head like I read it yesterday only…. It’s the best book on vampire.. according to me!

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